Why This Blog
This blog grew out of a need — closer to a moral obligation — to document an experience that was entirely unexpected, one that pulled me into territory I never imagined would hold my attention. The confusion in the early stages was total, and I remember how much casual remarks from people who had already been through something similar helped me find my footing. That is what I am trying to offer here.
Not doctrine. I would never presume to say this is what you should do, because each person carries their own specific conditions, and what worked for me may not work for someone else. What I can do is lay out what happened and what I did. From there, take what seems useful, discard what does not resonate, and do it entirely under your own responsibility — exactly as I did when I was looking for answers and sifting through everything I could find, following some threads and dropping others.
About Me
My approach to this practice almost certainly reflects where I come from.
I grew up constantly moving. My father’s work meant relocating every couple of years, across the full geography of my country. No siblings, no permanent group, no sense of ever fully belonging anywhere — because I always knew it was temporary. The result was that I never absorbed any group narrative. I adapted to whatever context I was in, but I built my own account of things. At twelve I spent two years in a boarding school; at fifteen a scholarship took me away from my parents’ home, and I moved through adolescence and early adulthood without much parental influence.
The other shaping force was political. I spent my first twenty-five years under a fascist dictatorship. Religion was everywhere — there was always a priest among the teachers — and as a child I had no reason to doubt that what the priest said was as solid as what the mathematics teacher said. At fifteen, the obscene collusion between the national-catholic church and the regime became impossible to ignore. From that point on, I saw everything connected to religion as a diabolically effective form of alienation: a machinery for making people perceive something evidently malign as beneficial and God-given.
Finally, I trained as an engineer. That installed a mindset that is uncomfortable with metaphysical speculation and insists on grounding claims in what can actually be observed and tested.
All of this, I think, is what has shaped my skeptical approach to energy practice and what you will find documented here. Someone with a different history would probably have arrived at a different account. This one is mine.
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