Notes from an Individual Experiment in the Interaction Between Somatic Experiences and Consciousness
A seeker peering beyond the veil — not to find heaven, but to see the mechanism. After Camille Flammarion (1888)
This project began with an anomaly: a persistent bodily sensation that appeared without warning and refused to fade. It wasn’t painful or alarming, but it was unfamiliar enough to demand attention. Rather than explaining it away or investing it with meaning, I simply followed it — and what started as curiosity became a years-long investigation into attention, perception, and the shifting sense of self.
The Accidental Beginning
My starting point was that of a skeptic — someone who dismissed Tantra, Qi, or chakras as cultural myths. I entered this territory through the least “spiritual” of doors: sexual experience.
Without knowing it, I had practiced something close to tantric sex, and then — unexpectedly — felt something rise along my spine. The sensation appeared precisely where those old texts, once dismissed as superstition, placed the first three chakras.
Curiosity replaced disbelief. I began to experiment, mapping the sensations, testing whether they appeared in other traditional energy centers. They did.
The Sensation That Watches Itself
What I had stumbled upon is known in Daoist and Tantric traditions as dual cultivation — a practice centered not on thought or breath, but on the direct perception of subtle bodily sensation.
Unlike breath-focused meditation, this offered a living feedback system: the sensation intensified when awareness was present and vanished the moment attention drifted. It became a powerful anchor for sustained attention — far more responsive than the breath itself.
This dynamic formed a virtuous loop: the more refined my attention, the stronger the sensation; the stronger the sensation, the deeper the attention.
From Sensation to Perception
Gradually, a shift took place. What began as a physical experiment altered something subtler: the sense of self.
I no longer experienced myself as the protagonist in a story, but as the awareness observing it. The same sensation that had once felt erotic now served as a bridge between body and mind — between raw experience and the narratives we build around it.
Whether this constitutes “liberation” in any traditional sense, or simply a different mode of processing, remains open. This blog does not resolve that question. It documents the exploration.
What You’ll Find Here
The material is organized in four sections:
Timeline — A small set of narrative accounts describing the decisive moments that redirected the experiment. These posts reflect my understanding at the time; some interpretations have since evolved.
Energy Work — The practical core. This section divides into Practice (techniques, procedures, cartography of internal sensations) and Perception (the mental states and shifts in consciousness that emerged through sustained work).
Readings — Daoist and Buddhist sources on energy practice — what resonated with my experience, what confused, what only made sense later, and what led to useless or even harmful practices when taken literally.
Perspectives— Christian mysticism, neuroscience, institutional power — frameworks for states called spiritual. These posts explore how different cultures have interpreted the same perceptual shifts — and how often that interpretation has served control rather than liberation. Occasionally, I may add personal reflections on broader questions — why certain attitudes toward spirituality persist, what interests they serve, what they cost. These are opinions, not expertise. I’ll cite sources where I can, but the reader should know they are entering territory where I speak as an observer with a viewpoint, not as a practitioner with direct evidence.
A Note on Language
When necessary, I use terms from Eastern traditions — Qi, Prana, Kundalini, Tantric — not for their mystical connotations, but because they are the closest available labels for the physiological and perceptual shifts I experienced. The Lexicon clarifies how I use each one, alongside its classical definition.
“Energy work” often evokes new age associations: crystals, auras, unverifiable claims. That’s not what this blog documents. The working hypothesis is that these sensations are mediated by the nervous system, though the exact mechanisms remain unclear.
Observations, Not Conclusions
I still value skepticism. I hold no certainties, and I am not here to teach. These are field notes from a single long-term case study — observations, not conclusions.
Strong experiences generate strong narratives. Throughout this blog, I try to separate what I observed from the interpretations that naturally arose — including early conclusions I later reconsidered.
The honest position is neither belief nor disbelief, but careful observation and provisional interpretation.